What do women want in the relationship?

 

What do women want in the relationship?

Musengua Given Abubakar Tjijeura

"My friend Musengua Given Abubakar Tjijeura assigned me the challenging task of understanding what women generally want in relationships. Conducting this research was not easy, and it took me three months to complete. In approaching the research, I applied the Himbacracy ideology and philosophical point of view. This approach required significant time and effort, particularly because modern women often deviate from the traditional thinking patterns of their parents. Many educated women today incorporate Western ideals when it comes to relationships, which can be challenging for someone like me, a typical Kaokoland man, to understand. These women have adopted Western cultural norms to shape their perspectives on relationships, often influenced by what they have seen on television or other media sources. As someone who did not grow up in that background, comprehending their mindset can be a complex task.

Throughout the research process, I was careful and considerate to avoid causing any harm. I approached the subject with sensitivity and respect, recognizing that individual experiences and desires can vary greatly. It is crucial to remember that everyone is unique, and what one person wants in a relationship may differ from another.

That being said, there are several general qualities and desires that many women often value in a relationship. These include:

Communication: Women appreciate open and honest communication. They seek a partner who actively listens to them, understands their feelings, and expresses themselves clearly.

Trust and respect: Building a strong foundation of trust and respect is essential. Women want to feel respected for who they are and their opinions. Trust plays a vital role in creating a sense of security within the relationship.

Emotional support: Women often desire emotional support from their partners. They seek someone who can be there for them during both joyful and challenging times, offering comfort, empathy, and understanding.

Equality and partnership: Many women value equality within a relationship. They want a partner who treats them as equals, respects their autonomy, and shares responsibilities in the relationship.

Shared values and goals: Women often seek a partner who shares similar values and goals. Having common interests, aspirations, and a shared vision for the future can help create a stronger connection.

Affection and intimacy: Emotional and physical intimacy is important to many women. They appreciate affection, both in terms of verbal expressions and physical gestures, such as hugs, kisses, and cuddling.

Independence and personal space: While a relationship is about togetherness, it is equally important to respect each other's individuality. Women often value having their own space, pursuing personal hobbies, and having time for personal interests.

Emotional intelligence: Women appreciate a partner who demonstrates emotional intelligence. This includes the ability to empathize, understand their emotions, and respond with sensitivity. Being able to effectively communicate and navigate emotional situations can contribute to a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.

 

Supportive of personal growth: Women often seek a partner who supports their personal growth and aspirations. This includes encouraging their ambitions, providing motivation, and celebrating their achievements. A supportive partner who actively invests in their partner's personal development can foster a strong sense of fulfilment and satisfaction in the relationship.

Quality time and companionship: Spending quality time together and enjoying each other's company is important to many women. They value shared experiences, engaging in meaningful conversations, and participating in activities that strengthen their bond. Making an effort to create moments of connection and prioritize the relationship can deepen the emotional connection between partners.

Appreciation and affirmation: Women often desire appreciation and affirmation from their partners. Expressing gratitude, acknowledging their efforts, and regularly affirming their value can make them feel loved and cherished. Acts of kindness and compliments can go a long way in nurturing a positive and supportive atmosphere in the relationship.

Sense of humour: Having a compatible sense of humour can be highly valued by women. A partner who can make them laugh, share light-hearted moments, and find joy in each other's company often contributes to a positive and enjoyable relationship.

Financial stability and responsibility: While this can vary from person to person, many women appreciate a partner who demonstrates financial stability and responsibility. This includes being financially reliable, planning for the future, and actively contributing to shared financial goals and obligations.

Mutual respect for personal boundaries: Respecting personal boundaries is crucial in any relationship. Women value a partner who understands and respects their need for personal space, privacy, and autonomy. Respecting boundaries fosters a sense of trust and allows individuals to maintain their individual identities within the partnership.

To clarify, I want to emphasize that I did not adopt or employ the Himbacracy Philosophical point of view. In other words, I did not express my personal opinion. It is crucial to note that these points are not universal, and individual preferences may vary greatly. Each woman may have unique needs and desires in a relationship. Therefore, open and honest communication with your partner is essential to understand their specific expectations and wishes." Dear Mr. Tjijeura, if you are unwilling to adhere to the aforementioned scenario involving contemporary girls, please select an alternative scenario or ideology of your preference without hesitation.

Uerimanga Tjijombo

The Himbcarcy Philosopher

(Specialist in Educational Technology and Socio-Linguistics)

Men Need Peace of Mind To Get Married

 

                                                  Uerimanga Tjijombo

                                                 The Himbacracy Philosopher

Men Need Peace of Mind To Get Married

I have remained silent for several days without writing anything, but today I feel compelled to share a few thoughts from the perspective of Himbacracy Philosophy. Please read this statement carefully, as I want to express my opinion to the readers. As a philosopher, it is important for me to offer my viewpoint based on the philosophical principles of Himbacracy.

I would like to discuss why many men in Namibia choose not to get married, particularly due to the behaviour of women who lack cultural understanding and are more influenced by Western culture. Each continent has its own distinct culture, and when individuals start embracing a culture that is not native to their continent, they may compromise their own cultural values as human beings within their own society.

Now, let me explain why men in Namibia are reluctant to marry. There are two significant factors at play. The first is the issue of aging and how it affects marriage. When women are young, they often seek partners who are financially well-off, attractive, and come from influential families. They may not consider other qualities as important because they believe it is better to enjoy life while they are still young. However, when they eventually decide to settle down, they realize that they are getting older. By that time, the men they were interested in may have moved on or may no longer be interested in them. This age disparity between men and women poses a significant challenge, and it is culturally understood in our society. For this reason, our culture discourages individuals of the same age from getting married, as our elders have considered the aging aspect when forming such traditions.

The second aspect I would like to address is peace of mind, which is the real reason why men choose to marry. It is not solely based on finding the most physically attractive or having the best sexual experiences with a partner. A man decides to marry a woman when he believes she will bring him a sense of peace and support him in pursuing his life goals. Sometimes, you may observe a man who has been in a long-term relationship with a woman, enjoying great intimacy and having a good time together, but he still chooses not to marry her because she does not provide him with the feeling of stability and peace of mind. However, when he meets another woman who fulfils these emotional needs, he may marry her within a year, as he feels he has found his home.

In our culture, there is a proverb in Otjiherero that states "Kao ya nata Kaambi," which means circumstances are not the same as before. Indeed, things have changed, but it does not imply that we must completely abandon our traditions. We can adapt and integrate our culture with new technologies, but we should preserve our core values. It is not necessary to completely abandon our culture or imitate others.

Another saying in Otjiherero goes, "Wa ramba ombo okakuze," which means the situation is beyond your capacity to effectively deal. In such situations, individuals may seek what they believe are real men. However, by the time they realize this, it may be too late because, in reality, every man is a real man. The problem lies in the fact that women often perceive a real man as someone who will fulfil their expectations and tasks. Instead, men should simply be themselves and not be driven solely by external influences or materialistic pursuits. True love does not depend on material possessions. If genuine love truly existed, why women wouldn’t seek companionship with cattle herders or those who possess no wealth or material possessions?

In conclusion, the reluctance of men to get married in Namibia can be attributed to various factors such as cultural disparities, aging, and the search for peace of mind. It is essential to understand and respect different cultures while preserving our own values and traditions.

Uerimanga Tjijombo

The Himbacracy Philosopher