Friday, November 17, 2023

Navigating the Complex Realities of Marriage: Insights from a Thoughtful Discussion on Love, Intentions, and Societal Expectations.

Navigating the Complex Realities of Marriage: Insights from a Thoughtful Discussion on Love, Intentions, and Societal Expectations.


Okatimbu Mbangu Salas Uarije


Explore the multifaceted aspects of marriage through a candid conversation between two individuals, delving into the intricacies of choosing a life partner, the significance of timing, and the often-overlooked intentions behind relationships. Gain valuable insights on the challenges of expectations, financial considerations, and the impact of societal norms on the journey to finding lasting love and companionship.

Once, I made a remark about someone's height, referring to him as "Okatimbu," meaning short. The individual in question is Mbangu Salas Uarije, a man I don't fail to mention unless I'm engrossed in a meal. Despite his stature, he stands out when he dons a suit, distinguishing himself among other shorter individuals. This perspective is shared not just by me but also by Mr. Marihepa Tjijeura, who can vouch for Uarije's unique style.

Uarije is not just known for his appearance; he's a remarkable detective police officer who held the title of the best in the Khomas region last year. Beyond his professional achievements, he is a close and attentive friend, always ready to lend an ear to my concerns. Despite his height, Uarije's quick responsiveness to problems has made him a sought-after figure among the women in Windhoek. In times of difficulty, they unfailingly turn to him for assistance. However, as swiftly as they remember him when in need, they tend to forget him once their problems are resolved.

One notable advocate for Uarije's abilities is the well-known farmer of Namibia, Tjiraa Kakuneho Tjihuura, who frequently discusses his short stature but acknowledges his distinctive presence when dressed in a suit. Uarije's impact extends beyond mere appearances; he leaves a lasting impression with his efficient problem-solving skills and quick responses.

Last week, Mr. Uarije and I engaged in a discussion about the significance of marriage. I inquired about his plans for marriage, prompting him to share that he's uncertain due to a particular lady in his mind, referred to as "omukazona omukwatjivi," hailing from the road to Okanguati. Expressing concern, I suggested considering other potential partners, as the mentioned lady seemed already committed. In response, Mr. Uarije cautioned against rushing into such decisions, emphasizing the importance of avoiding relationships with women who lack control over their words during arguments, drawing a parallel to a man unable to control his hands in a dispute.

His perspective on marriage was straightforward—those ready to settle down should do so, akin to a soccer player recognizing the right time to retire before losing their edge. Drawing from his personal experience as a former soccer player, he highlighted the need for individuals to assess their readiness for marriage.

Furthermore, Mr. Uarije shared a valuable insight about women's intentions, cautioning that not every woman accepts a man solely out of love. Some may be motivated by material factors, such as financial stability. He recounted instances where women, fixated on a man's outward appearance or financial status, later discovered discrepancies and ended the relationship.

Addressing a common scenario, he pointed out that while a man is diligently planning for his future and working towards stability, some women may disrupt these calculations. He highlighted the inconsistency in certain women's expectations, noting how a woman may reject a man lacking material wealth while simultaneously supporting her brother in a similar situation.

Moreover, Mr. Uarije touched upon the paradox of some women claiming not to like "broke guys" while their own brothers face financial challenges. He urged for a more balanced and fair outlook in such matters.

In a closing remark, he highlighted the irony of women comparing men to their sugar daddies, emphasizing that the very existence of sugar daddies is a result of fathers failing in their roles. This added a thought-provoking layer to the discussion, challenging societal norms and expectations surrounding relationships and marriage.

The Himbacracy Philosopher


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